The Perfect Morning

She slept every night, with a hope to wake up with a good spirit next morning. She prayed to wake up with a reason to smile, with an excitement to start her day. With a motivation to make the best of her time, to finish whatever was pending, to start something new for a more fulfilled life.

She wanted to feel a cool breeze coming from the open window, brushing her hair over her face, and waking her up by tickling her on her face. She wished to see nature and the open sky just after getting off bed, she desired to feel soft grass beneath her feet as she walked out of the room. 

She wanted to feel warm hands hugging her from behind and a warm breath whispering in her ear, "good morning my love"......

Resisting to get back in room and start the daily chores, she wanted to be gently lifted in his arms and taken inside to shower....

Unfortunately, what she experiences is totally different. She wakes up to a fear of not being able to do anything valuable in life, her head feels heavy, she struggles to get up, the ground feels coarse to her soft feet, she heads to do the morning kitchen chores, gets lost in thoughts while washing a sink full of utensils. Thoughts in which she questions herself, why are you like this? What makes you so inactive, unsocial and dull? She thinks about everyone,about every person's life, but becomes blank when comes to thinking about herself.... What is it? Is it lack of self awareness or what? Why is she like this? Why is she not waking up to a bed tea, to a good morning message from a boyfriend, to a day full of activities, to cheerful parents waking her up and wishing good morning? Why?!

Coming back to the present moment, she realizes that she is done with the utensils. She should probably clean the stove and make some lemonade for her parents.She is doing all the morning tasks alone as her mother is not keeping well. After everything, she heads to take a bath. Then tries to shut herself in the room and practice meditation. She has been begging God to give her those benefits of meditation that others boast of. But nothing significant happened. After all this she sits down wondering..now what? Doing her mundane online course sitting in her room didn't excite her, neither researching on her online business ambitions, she had been doing that since quite long, no further action has made that also mundane. She kept sitting on her study table. A thousand thoughts passed by....why am I not doing an MBA just like my other friends? Why do I feel out of place where ever I go?

Having no answers, she goes back to sleep. Sleep and dream about the perfect morning she desires to have.

What 'She' missed out in life or lacked in life was not a companion or exciting activities to do during the day, but an initiative. An initiative to create what she desired. Mental pictures of fulfillment won't really get her where she wants to be without any physical action towards them.Her story is not beyond anyone's ken. Its very much a part of everybody's life, the intensity of it may be different.